Using This Phrase Isn’t a Valid Excuse for Your Terrible Actions

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March 27, 2013 3:15 PM by Smash

If you’re like any of us and work in the corporate world, I will guarantee you have heard this saying before. It’s usually heard within the first hour of arriving at the office. It’s also probably used when someone bumps into you, is cranky, or just aren’t “themselves.”

That phrase? “I haven’t had my coffee yet!”

This is easily one of the most cringeworthy phrases that is commonly tossed around the office. It’s obviously not only used in offices. It’s used any and everywhere in the mornings and for some reason, women tend to be the only ones to really use it. I don’t know if they think that it’s a valid excuse or what but newsflash…it’s not.

Anyone who habitually drinks coffee knows it just doesn’t have the same effects as it used to. You’re body is used to it and it’s not like you’re drinking some magic potion that kicks your ass into gear. Just because you’re being a bitch, you can’t blame it on not having you’re coffee yet…you’re just a bitch and need a crutch to cope with it.

What if in court, an alleged killer uses this as his reasoning for proving his innocence? “Uhhh your honor…I killed my wife but I didn’t have my coffee yet.”

“Well in that case…ALL CHARGES DROPPED!” Get the fuck outta here. Stop being idiots and stop being assholes. Don’t blame it on a drink.

Sidenote – Every time I wrote “I haven’t had my coffee yet,” I pictured a woman from New York who is stuck in the 80’s saying it. So it’d read more like “I haven’t had moi caw-fee yet! I don’t know why either but now you’re saying it too.