May 23, 2013 9:01 AM by Wade Blogs
We are approaching the wonderful time of summer. The official start of summer for the corporate world is always Friday 5:00pm of Memorial Day weekend. Summer casual attire is in full effect, work slows down a bit and the busy work gets shifted to interns and summer associates to help them learn. So let us break down interns at your office:
skINTERN: This is the hot little number that is pushing the limit from day one. She not only is flashing leg but her blouse gets lower and lower with her tits going higher and higher. She is flirty and potential jailbait for your relationship/marriage.
Tommy Two Thumbs: This is the guy who is always on his phone and can’t take a hint he shouldn’t be on it. Bro, you think I am taking 30minute dumps four times a day for my health? I am on my phone doing my thing. Take notes.
nepoTERN: This is the girl or guy who got the internship because his family member is a big swinging dick. You have to be best friends with him because he will get you promoted before any of your excel work does.
Poindexter: This is the kid who wants to learn everything about the business and ask questions you don’t know the answer too. He is also the intern that is in the office an hour before all the other interns. He most likely has 2 beers at happy hour and goes home to his paid for porn.
The KnobJob: Kid is the WORST intern. He read a book or two about the industry. Took a class on whatever it is and now knows more than you. After three weeks of this nonsense you put the 20 year old knobjob in his place by asking him a complex question in front of full timers and wait for him to cry. If he answers it, he’s ya guy…if not he will spend the rest of the summer trying to be your guy.
The Begger: We all have work we don’t want to do and we give to an intern. This intern is the guy who asks for something in return for doing your work. As if a summer stipend and experience on a resume isn’t enough. No I will not buy you a five dollar footlong for doing my excel work ya dipshit.
Why else is intern season great?
You get to see some quality tail outside. The difference between interns and full time women is that interns are ALWAYS dressed to 9’s looking to impress. No real responsibilities other than looking good, impress people, and not blow the CEO and have his wife find out.
I may even get back in the tinder game too…loads of hotties looking to score.
Look out for Skintern Chronicles throughout the summer.