May 21, 2013 2:01 PM by Smash
Anytime you spend long amounts of time in a car, you’re bound to see some ridiculous shit. It could be the world’s biggest yogurt cup or it could be an 94 year old biker. But let’s talk about the maniacs with the bumper stickers. I don’t know why people feel the need to destroy their cars or think that those bumper stickers will do anything, but whatever floats their boat I guess.
1. The Political Pundit
Always a guarantee. It’s pretty straightforward: whatever party the sitting President is, you’ll see stickers asking for impeachment, stoping wars, the end date of that presidents term, etc. They don’t just have opinions, they have the strongest opinions you’ll come across. The two cars above couldn’t be better examples.
2. The Religious Nut
Driving through the South? Then you’ll definitely see this person. First of all, I have absolutely no problem with religion. However, there is a certain line. There’s your everyday type of person, than there’s the “if you don’t prayer, you’re going to hell and I’m going to let you know” type of person. Jesus fish, Gospels, Psalms, probably playing the Christian rock station.
3. The Activist/Hippie
“Peace,” “Meat is Murder,” “Coexist.” They want change and what are they going to do about it? Put bumper stickers on their car, of course! Don’t be surprised if they’re driving a Suburu Outback. They usually seem to be feminists, vegans/vegetarians, anti-religion, anti-establishment type people. And they also probably have the worst bumper sticker somewhere on their car: “Mean People Suck.” They’re bound to smell so make sure to keep your distance from this one.
4. The Music Lover
This one kind of blurs lines with number 3. A lot of times, the people with band stickers all over their car are the ones who go to Phish shows. They’re most likely going to be a hippie and/or pothead so they probably have similar beliefs. However, they’re definitely not limited to them. It seems like a lot of times their car is filled with old bands that either don’t play at all anymore or haven’t done much in the last 10 years (Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Who, Oasis, etc). I guess so once you stick it on, you know it will also be worth it?
Those are the 4 types of cars with bumper stickers you’re guaranteed to see this summer on your road trip. You may see others, but if you don’t see at least one of each, I’d be shocked.
If I left one or more out, let me know. This may be a living list as I think of any I missed.