May 14, 2013 2:02 PM by Smash
With Mother’s Day being this past Sunday, breakfast in bed gets brought up a lot. You should bring your mother breakfast in bed, your mother wants breakfast in bed, etc. Great on paper but it’s absolutely terrible.
First of all, you’re laying in bed. There is no comfortable way to eat and drink in bed. Not only is it not comfortable, but you’ll feel like a bag of dicks when you’re done. Then what about when you’re done? You can’t go back to sleep. You probably sit there for about 4 minutes before you end up getting out of bed. How bout you just eat the meal at a table like a normal person?
Secondly, crumbs. Crumbs in your bed is one of the worst things that can happen to a human. It has happened to everyone. Usually just once because after that first time, you’d rather be waterboarded than have to sleed with crumbs. It’s an absolute nightmare.
I don’t think I’ve ever even had breakfast in bed, and I don’t think I ever will. If I want food that badly, I’ll get my lazy ass out of bed and go eat it. Unless you’re bedridden, breakfast in bed blows.