Cicadas Are So Back

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May 7, 2013 11:31 AM by Wade Blogs

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAP – Any day now, billions of cicadas with bulging red eyes will crawl out of the earth after 17 years underground and overrun the East Coast. The insects will arrive in such numbers that people from North Carolina to Connecticut will be outnumbered roughly 600-to-1. Maybe more.

First of all if you don’t know anything about cicadas then you clearly didn’t go outside enough as a child. They are like me on the weekends: harmless, loud, and just trolling for s-e-x. Yes, I am not lying. They wait for about 17 years underground to come up and find mates. That is why they have such a loud buzzing sound. I am sure PETA is going to come after us for this but, God Bless the USofA and Free SPEECH.Best things to do with cicadas?

  1. Let them crawl up your arm, but fair warning, it’s tickling.
  2. Rip off one wing and watch them try to fly.
  3. Rip of BOTH wings and place them in tar strips in your street
  4. Hit them with plastic bats
  5. Collect a bunch together and release them as you scream “I am the king of cicadas!” 

    Whatever you do with them, they are going to be LOUD.


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