Sexually Frustrated Working Male

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April 25, 2013 11:30 AM by Wade Blogs

Social MediaI work in an office all day and the only time I see the light of day is when I get lunch (if I am lucky) or when I am traveling from office building to building for meetings. Unbeknownst to the majority of those I work for and with there is a drought of females I come across that are 1s on the binary system (explained in earlier post).  What do I do to uncoil my sexual frustrations while I am working for the man?

Facebook – I can’t do Facebook because that is too risky and straight forward. Anyone who goes on Facebook for more than two-minutes is like wearing sweat pants in public. You’re waving the white flag and giving up on your career. I don’t care where you work, it’s not a wise move.

Twitter – Talk about a landmine for NSFW materials. This is reserved for bathroom breaks and “me time.” But far from what I am looking for.

Blogs – I can’t visit my go-to blogs too much because the NSFW or they have HUGE pictures of girls wearing nearly nothing.

So that leaves me with…

LinkedIn and how I have to scour the worldwide web of professionals to feed my sexual feelings. I honestly can get lost in LinkedIn profiles looking for the hottest chicks. Best part about linkedIn is that the broads get a notification that I looked at their profile. This is like a mating call…of the 21st century.

I’m so pathetic/swallow/sexist/gross/weird that I literally love “connecting” with them too. My theory is that if I have enough hot girls on my LinkedIn that whoever I interview with for my next gig with definitely look at this and my connections and will bump me up for knowing so many smokeshows.

So that is just a glimpse into my 8am to 8pm weekday world. No wonder my mom turns down offers to set me up with her friend/colleagues daughters (that is another post).

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