April 22, 2013 2:01 PM by Smash
Every year when Spring and Summer roll around, I ask myself the same question: when will women stop wearing those big ass sunglasses? They are the most ridiculous looking things. They cover their entire faces and all I can ever picture when a chick is rocking a pair is Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
I know they’ll all claim fashion as their reasoning but come one now. I just don’t get how you can pick up a pair of these things, look yourself in the mirror, and say “HOLY SHIT I NEED THESE! I LOOK FABULOUS!” No fucking way. How about some Ray Bans or something?
The only reasoning for owning a pair I’d understand is being extremely unfortunate looking or you have a crater on your face you’re trying to hide. No other excuse is valid. Not to mention, if you rock those at the beach, won’t you get the most RIDICULOUS tan line?
As the great philosopher Michael Posner once said: “you’ve got designer shades just to hide your face…” Keyword “hide.” How bout we come out from behind those shades? It’s a start.
First was Ugg boots and now big sunglasses. It seems like we’re on our way to adding Uggs to the endangered species list. Let’s add big sunglasses to list next.