Cuddling Has No Boundaries

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April 4, 2013 2:02 PM by Wade Blogs

CuddlingNewportPatch – A Newport woman was charged with driving under the influence after she allegedly got into an accident with two other vehicles early Tuesday morning.  No injuries were reported. 

Around 1:55 a.m. police were dispatched to Carey Street for a report of an accident and found 30 year-old Heather Gardner, of 27 Vaughan Avenue, in the drivers seat of a Jeep Wrangler that had significant damage to the front, said police.  When police asked if she was injured she allegedly responded “You have to understand, I just want to cuddle.”  She also stated that she was okay, but she was “in a place that she shouldn’t be,” said police.  

Police reported her eyes were bloodshot and watery and she smelled of alcohol.

This story just made my day. A woman’s love to cuddle has no boundaries and no limits, remember that gentlemen. If they want to lay next to you and then some so bad they will find a way to get you.

The classic line of this has to be “I don’t drink and drive often, otherwise…I’d be good at it.” I am sorry but this is way too good of a line to be thought of my someone drunk, sounds like a classic cop line that they stuck in the report to make it that much better.  (A note from our attorney, this is a playful and joking accusation).
Luckily, no one was seriously hurt in this accident.
Sidenote – I wonder how angry the lazy man that wanted to cuddle was that she didn’t come through.

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