If You Don’t Have Yourself a ‘Positive Friend’ You Aren’t Living

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March 29, 2013 9:00 AM by Smash

Screen shot 2013-03-29 at 1.54.44 AMI know what you’re thinking: “whoa, you just got spammed!” Uhhh wake up, it’s 2013. Spam is so 2012. This is clearly a love letter from my once secret admirer Liza. Everyone knows the first step to getting to know someone is by sending them an email but only Bcc’ing them on it. A simple “to” or “recipient” is too forward. Even a Cc is too much. You ALWAYS go with the Bcc.

If you’ve already gained enough confidence to send off that email, you’re going to want to make sure your grammar is spot on. In this case, Liza nailed it. Gave it a few looks over and hit “send” knowing she was one step closer to having me as a positive friend.

Can we talk about “wishing to have someone as a positive friend?” Sounds like someone a millionaire would hire to constantly compliment them all day. Who wouldn’t want a positive friend to share ideas, plan together, give encouragement, and set plans?! It’s like a match made in heaven.

In all seriousness, I’m guessing the Nigerians finally realized everyone caught onto their shenanigans and moved their camp to Liberia. Fuckin’ Liberians man…fuckin’ Liberians.

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