March 26, 2013 3:15 PM by Billy Heywood
Dips and I were brainstorming ideas for some posts, and this one came across us. No legs from the knees down for the rest of your life or 3 cats with you 24/7 everywhere you go (in the shower, at the store, with women, pooping..etc) for the rest of your life?
Personally, I fucking love dogs and hate hate hate hate HATE cats. The only cat I would ever take care of, let alone live with, is a tiger or lion. So we weighed the positive and negatives of each, and I came to the conclusion that I would, GLADLY, lose my legs over having cats. Here’s why:
First off, cats smell. They smell like shit. They poop and piss into a box with pebbles in it and then YOU have to empty the pebbles. Next, they hide and sneak around. I can’t take that shit. I need to know where my pet is at all times. Also cats fucking bite and claw like assholes then run away and hide in the fucking cupboard, walls, and anything they can fit into. Finally, having cats DESTROYS your chances of getting with women by 2000%, especially if you live alone with those cats. Girls love playing with kittens and cats, but they would never take care of them.
Why would I choose to lose my legs? The simple answer is science. Every day scientists are making strides in the prosthetics game. You can get new legs everyday, like flippers for swimming, blades for running, wheels for skating, and a fucking pair of PEG legs. Like a cold ass ice pirate. Also, losing your legs from the knee down isn’t that bad, you would be able to fit in 100% of all bathtubs and you can fight a midget fairly. How much money do you think you could win in a midget fight? A lot, since they’d all be won.
No legs from the knees down all day every day. Cats are lame as shit anyways.