March 21, 2013 10:16 AM by Smash
That looks like an alien trying to escape. Or an old man with a tiny arm and hand wiping his tears. Your choice.
I can’t think of anything more repulsive than someone that has an outie belly button. I feel like it’s one of those things that just goes away when you’re older. If you’re a grown ass adult, can you legit have an outie belly button and be able to sleep at night? How can you stroll into work knowing you might poke someone’s eye out with that thing? Or what about going to the beach? You can’t just whip off your shirt only to have a baby toe poking out of your stomach. Shit is gross.
There are two ways to know if your parents truly loved you when you were born: they circumcised your dick and they didn’t allow your belly button to be an outie. I can’t even imagine the life someone lives that has some nasty skin on their dick AND has an outie. I don’t think it can get much worse than that.
But I’m not even kidding. Is getting your outie fixed a common procedure? I feel like I haven’t seen an outie in a quick minute (not that I’m trying to…except when I look for a picture of one). It should be a mandatory part of the birthing process: innies only. Any baby with an outie goes down a chute Veruca Salt style.