March 11, 2013 4:30 PM by Smash
All I’ve been hearing about lately is the Cool Ranch Doritos Taco from Taco Bell and “OH MY GOD WHO REMEMBERS 3D DORITOS?!” Well anyone older than about 15 probably remember them…it wasn’t that long ago. But that’s not the point. Thinking about these old foods you can no longer get, I was thinking about Butterfinger BB’s.
For starters, Butterfinger’s may be one of the best candy bars money can buy. Pair it up with a Barq’s root beer and you’re in for a magical combination that is the perfect recipe to make sure you’re rocking veneers by age 37. However, the biggest downfall for a Butterfinger is the fucking mess they create. No matter what approach you take, your floor, desk, shirt, etc will have orange flakes all over them. Break it before opening, straight biting into them, it doesn’t matter. This is where Butterfinger BB’s solved that problem. No longer did you have to deal with those flakes. Would they still stick to your teeth like freshly poured concrete? Well sure, but at least you weren’t a chocolate layer away from becoming a Butterfinger yourself.
So dream about your stupid puffed up Doritos all you want. Butterfinger BB’s is the real food item that needs to make a comeback. What pressing issue did 3D Doritos solve? Yeah that’s right, none. Butterfinger BB’s 1, 3D Doritos 0.