Zimbabwean Woman Killed by Lion While Having Sex in the Bush

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March 6, 2013 11:29 AM by Smash

Lions

IB Times – A lion killed a woman while she was having sex in the bush with her boyfriend, reports have emerged. He managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom.

The woman, identified as Sharai Mawera,  was mauled to death in the attack in Mahombekombe, Kariba in Zimbabwe. She was severely injured in her neck and stomach.

Her boyfriend, a fisherman who was not identified, heard the lion roar, MyZimbabwe reported. They had been having sex in a sideways position and he managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom.

He turned back to see Mawera being mauled and rushed to a nearby road for help.
Motorists refused to stop, however. As he was naked, it is presumed that many thought  he was suffering from mental health problems.

A source said: “Later on people heard his plea and accompanied him to the police station, where he reported the matter.

It is a bittersweet day for the country of Zimbabwe, but more importantly, the entire continent of Africa. A woman was killed by a lion, but a man…in Africa…wore a condom. Lets take a moment to stop and remember where we were when we learned this. Absolutely monumental. Stopping the spread of AIDS one bush bang at a time.

The real question is why were you banging in the bush? Did you not expect a lion to stroll in and rip your face off? Maybe a shack of some sorts? Or anywhere else where lions don’t roam around looking for humans to destroy? I was really expecting Sharai Mawera to be in the cowgirl position. That must have been one sneaky lion to get in there doing the ol sideways posish. Probably had thumbs.

Welp, lesson learned here. Don’t have sex in the African bush unless you’re prepared to take down a lion one on one, with no weapons, while only wearing a condom. That’s living right there.

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