Is There Any Way To Put On Chapstick Without Looking Gay?


March 5, 2013 2:44 PM by Billy Heywood


I hate chapped lips. Absolutely hate them. But you know whats worse than chapped lips? Putting on chapstick in public.

In private, I stay chapsticking my chapped lips. Strawberry Chapstick is my old reliable, and recently, I’ve been on a EOS chapstick-egg grind.

eos-lip-balm-trio-660Sweet Mint, Lemon Drop spf15, and Pomegranate Raspberry can turn the hardest men soft.

However, in public it’s a whole other ballgame. Sitting on the train, work, or in a restaurant and your lips get chapped? With girls, it’s fine. It’s just like putting on lipstick. But with guys, it’s a travesty. The big question for us guys is when (in public) do you pull out your chapstick and lather it up? Or do you tough it out and let the lips keep on chappin?

You can’t roll it on the upper or lower lip and pucker, because that is gayer than Perez Hilton at an LGBT meeting. The worst is when I see dudes making assholes out of their lips and rolling around it like lube for Peter North and Sara Jay. Just makes me sick.

Editor’s Note – Billy uses strawberry Chapstick and those eggchaps? That answers this question.


2 thoughts on “Is There Any Way To Put On Chapstick Without Looking Gay?

  1. Don henne says:

    LOL…if you don’t know who peter north is….DO NOT GOOGLE HIM.


  2. BigSkye19 says:

    What about the chapstick you put on with your finger…its like vasoline type stuff, whats the play on that?

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