March 5, 2013 9:00 AM by Billy Heywood
You know these guys. Rocking the airline earmuffs in the gym, or walking down the street. Hell even hobos on the street are begging for change with these on! The fuck? Smash wrote a post last year on how beats are becoming the “ugg” epidemic” and I couldn’t agree more.
So I took the liberty in making a scientific study/graph/data, whatever you call it. And I have proven that the bigger the headphones, the bigger the douchebag.
As you can see, from my various studies and scientific shit; The bigger the headphones, the bigger the douchebag. Here are some notes on the subject:
-Normal are people rocking earbuds at the gym, walking to work, just chilling on the subway and what not.
-Dickheads usually don’t wear large headphones because they’re too busy fucking up everything they encounter, so they don’t have time for music.
-Assholes are guys rocking the fat skull candy’s, blasting the shitiest electronic music along with it.
-Athletes are the only exception to this. Athletes rock Beats By Dre pregame, and on the buses and planes because traveling is the fucking worst, and you need comfy earphones.
-Cocksuckers wear these huge Skullcandys or Beats only to show everyone that they have them. In the gym, with their fingerless gloves and their beaders. Fucking dweebs.