An Unfortunate Study Finds Ripping Farts Mid Flight is Healthy

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February 21, 2013 1:01 PM by Smash

Airplane Farting

CBS Charlotte – Hopefully the TSA will now allow passengers to bring gas masks on board flights.

A new study finds that breaking wind while one is flying is healthy and recommended.

AFP reports that Danish gastroenterologist Jacob Rosenberg got the idea for the study after dealing with flatulence from several passengers during a flight from Copenhagen to Tokyo.

“(Holding back) holds significant drawbacks for the individual, such as discomfort and even pain, bloating, dyspepsia (indigestion), pyrosis (heartburn) just to name but a few resulting abdominal symptoms,” the study stated.

Despite giving the all-clear for passengers to “just let it go,” researchers warned that pilots shouldn’t let one rip while in the cockpit.

“On the one hand, if the pilot restrains a fart, all the drawbacks previously mentioned, including impaired concentration, may affect his abilities to control the plane,” researchers said in the study, according to AFP. “On the other hand, if he lets go of the fart, his co-pilot may be affected by its odor, which again reduces safety onboard the flight.”

As much as I want to like this, I just can’t. I do my fair share of flying and the amount of times I’ve inhaled a huge whiff of ass gas just isn’t fair. I’ve been on a skid of getting the fucking middle seat that last 6 times I’ve flown, both ways. So as if sitting in the middle 12 times is bad enough, I’m usually wedged in between at least one person using a seatbelt extender.

I’m pretty sure it’s a scientific fact that fat people fart more. No one likes to get up and use an airplane bathroom so obviously farts will be ripped. I like to think me holding in anything I’ve got til after the flight is the most selfless thing I can do while flying. Is it uncomfortable? Mother of God yes. But I’m looking out for my fellow passengers.

As bad as it is with 150 other people, the pilot and copilot have to have it bad up there. It must be like a mini gas chamber. They’re encouraged to tear up there? Jesus, no wonder they need two people. I’m guessing turbulence is actually the pilots reaction to his copilots rip. Coughing, flailing his arms, punching him. All normal reactions.

The circulated air on planes already smells like asshole. If this is going to be encouraged behavior, I expect some air fresheners at every seat or else I’m ripping down one of those yellow oxygen masks and wearing it the entire flight…even if the bag doesn’t inflate because oxygen is still flowing.

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