February 15, 2013 11:29 AM by Smash
So I tweeted earlier today about how great it is that Valentine’s Day couldn’t be any further away today. @JBizz75 replies mentioning how many days until “sweetest day.” Blew my mind. Thought he was fucking with me.
So I of course had to check out what this was all about. Turns out, it’s a real fucking thing. Apparently, it’s basically only celebrated in the Great Lakes region on the third Saturday of October. According to Wikipedia (which is a credible source, teachers take notes. You can’t use that anymore):
It is described by Retail Confectioners International as an “occasion which offers all of us an opportunity to remember the sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed.” Sweetest Day has also been referred to as a “concocted promotion” created by the candy industry solely to increase sales of sweets.
Now of course this really is just an excuse for chicks to want more shit. Do people just buy candy and what not for this? It sounds like something a 3rd grader would celebrate. Grown ass men and women celebrate this? No fucking way. If someone asked if I was doing anything/got anything for “sweetest day” I’d laugh in their face.
I’ve boiled it down to the people who celebrate sweetest day: guys who don’t wear the pants in the relationship, chicks who celebrate everything…i.e. the chicks who have birthday months instead of just 1 day, and people who live in areas where there is nothing better to do than celebrate anything and everything they can. Essentially, people I don’t want to associate myself with.
Welp, my research of going to Wikipedia has concluded. It is a bullshit day. If October comes around and people are wishing each other happy sweetest day, you either need to grow a sack or stop being a lunatic.