Imagine if Your Name Was “Fenway Parks?”

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February 5, 2013 1:00 PM by Smash

Fenway Parks

Yahoo – According to the baseball scouting website Perfect Game, there’s a solid high school infielder from Boca Raton, FL who is working his way up the prospect ranks and seems to have a good future ahead of him. Now, obviously that part isn‘t noteworthy, but the fact his given name is Fenway Parks certainly is.
That’s right. First name: Fenway. Last name: Parks.

As Carson Cistulli of Notgraphs notes, his name would probably qualify as the most difficult baseball name to search for on the internet. But hey, at least he is excelling at the correct sport and not tennis or swimming.

This kid can. All I can think of right now is the scene in Ace Venutra when Ace opens up Ray Finkle’s journal. EVERYTHING anti Dan Marino in there and then he drops the line “obsessssssssed much?” That’s all I can think about when I picture this kids parents house. Fenway Park/Red Sox shit everywhere. Probably Yankees toilet paper, real Fenway grass mixed in their lawn mix, Wally the Green Monster suit for roleplaying. You name it, they probably have it.

The one beauty of this kids name is he can probably kill a guy and you wouldn’t be able to find it online. His news story would be on page 3 million. Just buried behind baseball’s oldest park. Certainly not a bad thing.

I want this kid to make it to the Show so bad you have no idea. But in all seriousness, that is the dumbest name I have ever heard and his parents should be ashamed of themselves. You named your son after a fucking ballpark. No way they don’t think about the mistake they made everyday.

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