This Could Be the Stupidest Thing Ever

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January 30, 2013 1:30 PM by Smash

Office Treadmill

MarketWatch – When John Osborn’s treadmill desk arrived in his corner office last August, the New York CEO of advertising firm BBDO spent nearly 80% of the day working while walking. But soon colleagues began pointing out rampant misspellings in his emails. “You quickly realize how difficult it is to type anything longer than a sentence,” he says. And while he had hoped to drop some weight, he found that after a few weeks, his appetite increased. “The big joke around here was I got the treadmill desk and I put on 6 pounds,” Osborn says.

Office furniture that allows employees to stand, walk, cycle or sit on a giant rubber ball includes the Steelcase Walkstation (starting at $4,399) and the LifeBalance Station ($2,795 and up), a combination desk-and-elliptical machine. The products come with health-boosting claims such as relieving lower back pain or stimulating blood flow to the brain. Ergonomic specialists cite injury risks. User complaints include lower back pain. Employers are just beginning to deal with issues of hygiene, etiquette and liability.

This had been a growing fad for a while now. First it was sitting on exercise balls, then standing desks, then fucking treadmill and elliptical desks?! The makeshift standing desk has become an epidemic around my office. I work with the weirdest of weird birds and they’re standing like assholes all day.

“Employers are just beginning to deal with issues of hygiene, etiquette and liability.” So now you have Bob banging out workouts all day long? Probably sweating his ass off, fucking up his emails, and smelling like a bag of shit. Seems like a great idea in the office. What would the attire even be? If you’re in an office where it’s business dress, what’s the play? You’re just gonna be walking on a treadmill all day while rocking a suit and tie? No chance.

Here’s an idea: if you’re so worried about your health, get a fucking gym membership. Shit, you can even find one by your office and work out during lunch. I know this one is a crazy idea but maybe stop eating like shit, too. Hell, this Osbourne clown is gaining weight even while working out while working. I have a good feeling the treadmill isn’t adding those pounds, bud.

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