Major Study Shows College Freshmen Are Softer Than Ever

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January 30, 2013 9:15 AM by Billy Heywood

YahooThe U.S. economy may be on the mend, but that hasn’t stopped it from influencing a generation in an unexpected way: For the first time ever, an annual survey of college freshman has found that first-year students are more focused on their job prospects than their party plans.

According to the “2012 Freshman Norms report,”conducted by UCLA’s Cooperative Institutional Research Program (CIRP) each year since 1966, only 33 percent of college freshman reported drinking beer in 2012, down from 35.4 percent in 2011 and far lower than the 73.7 percent who were knocking back drinks in 1982, when many of their own parents were in college. 

Alcohol industry experts said that they’re happy about the change.

“While we recognize there is more work to be done to eliminate underage drinking, today we have a record number of college freshmen who are making the right choices about drinking,” Joe McClain, president of the Beer Institute, said in a statement. “We are encouraged by this reduction, and America’s brewers and beer importers will continue to build upon this success through programs that will further reduce the harmful use of alcohol.”

The 2012 survey gathered data from 192,912 first-time, full-time students at 283 four-year colleges and universities in the United States. It also found that an all-time high of 87.9 percent of freshman said that they were attending college “to be able to get a better job,” a stark contrast to students in 1976, when just 67.8 percent of freshman said that job prospects played a part in their decision to go to college. Eighty-one percent of students in 2012 said that “being very well off financially” was a “very important” personal goal, up from 79.6 percent in 2011.

Kids today man, bunch of pussies. The kids who are worried about GPA’s probably don’t even drink anyway. The kids that are expected to no drink and have zero fun are engineers/pre-med majors. These kids are the most important kids in the near future. Without chemical, electrical, mechanical or civil engineering, we are flat out FUCKED. Those who actually study their business courses religiously need to get smacked in the face by Lexington Steele’s third leg. Major in something easy. Like business, or government. They are adaptable. Sales is about being a good bullshitter, accounting is all about crunching numbers and urban affairs/politics might as well be called “Urban Legends” because its that easy. C’s get degrees. If you want to be in Upper management, get ready step on alot of folks, suck alot of cocks, and brown nose the fuck out of your bosses…Thats life kids! No one asks you how you do it, they only want true results…The best advice I have ever recieved: “Its not about the grades you make, its all about the hands you shake.”

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No truer words have ever been spoken guys. As long as you can read and write, you’ll get a job. Granted, this doesn’t apply for doctors or lawyers or engineers. But for regular jobs like “analyst’, “coordinator” or “developer”, all you need is a 6″x 8″ piece of paper that basically says “I graduated a reputable college somewhere”. Thats it, its that simple. As long as you interview well, aren’t a psychopath, don’t cut corners and don’t have shit for brains, you will do fine in any job. Hell, every is done online and half the companies train you when you get to day 1 at your new job!

So enjoy your 4 years in college kids. Hell, make it 5, 6, 7 years! Get a degree in something basic, like finance or healthcare management. You can snake your way to great grades, and you can also get blackout drunk with zero consequences.

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(Take a look at Dips from college. Kid was in the friend zone for his whole career! Woof…but it could be worse…take a look at Smash, Teddy KGB and Dick in college)

IMG_1123_JPGBecause you only get this opportunity to booze, flooze, and fuck random sluts for 4 years… After you graduate, the world gets weirder, and weirder…and not the good kind of weird. So drink up, get wasted, fuck a blonde in college and put your fingers/weiners in someone you wouldn’t fuck in a million years if you were sober!

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