Hey Brady! Cool Moat!

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January 25, 2013 3:00 PM by Billy Heywood

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Yahoo – At least when Tom Brady is watching the Super Bowl at home, he will do so in style. He also doesn’t have to worry about his house being plundered during the big game, considering he has a moat out front.

Yeah, that’s right. A moat.

The Detroit Free Press reported on the former Michigan quarterback’s mansion, and it is no joke.

The mansion is in Los Angeles, it’s 22,000 square feet and it took three years to build. The Free Press describes it as a “virtual castle,” and that seems appropriate. There’s a custom play area for the Brady kids, an enormous pool and, again, a moat.

Hey Tom, maybe instead of putting a moat around your house to protect yourself from cat burglars stealing your precious Uggs collection (and most definitely Bernard Pollard), you should get an offensive line to protect you from pass rushing outside linebackers.

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Who the fuck needs a moat? I know America is the “Land of the Free because of the Brave” but a moat? thats just as dumb as getting a draw bridge, or wearing a pocket-watch. Its the 21st Century you bum ass bitch, theres such thing as security systems nowadays.

Those people who say “oh this was definitely his wife’s idea” are fucking OUT OF THEIR MIND. Giselle probably just wants to bang other dudes because her husband isn’t the Tom Brady he used to be.

This “moat” is so half assed it’s not even funny. I would gain so much respect for Brady if it had blood thirty alligators, piranhas or sharks swimming in there. And every month he threw whoever on the Pats had the most dropped passes into the moat, as a blood sacrifice to the football Gods. It’s not even fully around the crib. The mansion is dope. No doubt about it. But if you’re going to have a moat, the sky have to be the limit for it. It has to, no excuse, surround the whole mansion. Not just the front.

But this is the new Tom Brady…Goes all out until the very end, and at the very end he gives up on it…Just like he did against the Ravens, and just like his moat.

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