Top Ten Hottest Cougars of TV

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January 23, 2013 4:30 PM by Billy Heywood

I love moms. I love my mom, your mom, his mom, her mom, and their mom. Basically no mom is safe from my charming good looks and wit. I wish there was a filter on “Tinder” for MILFs. There just something about these ladies that really just gets me all hot and bothered night in, and night out.

10. Vivien Harmon from American Horror Story (Connie Britton)

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Freakiest show on television, and certainly the freakiest ginger in the game.

9. Gemma Teller from Sons of Anarchy (Katey Sagal)

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I know she looks like a biker slut, but if you’re going to tell me you wouldn’t pound her out, you are lying to yourself guy.

8. Debbie Weaver from The Neighbors (Jami Gertz)

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The Neighbors is an awful show, but she gives me an awfully huge boner ever time I flip through the channels and see her on it.

7. Tara Knowles from Sons of Anarchy (Maggie Siff)

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Not a fan of brunettes, but Maggie might be the exception. When she’s rough and tough in episodes of SOA, I go six to midnight, in a HEARTBEAT

6. Jenny McArthur from The League (Katie Asleton)

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One of the funniest shows on TV, and the fact that there might be a girl out there who loves football just as much as I do means I have a chance, .05% maybe, but its still a chance.

5. Jules Cobb from Cougar Town (Courtney Cox)

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Courtney Cox is the definition of a cougar. Hot, Matured, and ready for some young dudes to fill her up with love sauce. Shes gotten hotter and hotter every year since Friends ended.

4. Sofia from The League (Nadia Velazquez)

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The “Dark Horse” of the list, many of you didn’t see coming. Shes in The League, married to Ruxin, and shes not seen a lot, but when she is…OH BOY. Shes not even the hottest latina on this list!

This one is a toughy. I love these 2 women, but I had to go with my nut on this one…

T2. Gloria Delgado-Prichett from Modern Family (Sofia Vergara)

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Might be the hottest latina ever. Shes a God Damn tit bully, and she wants everyone to know. What I would do for one night with Sofia Vergara? Probably kill/blow a man for it…Dead Ass.

T2. Claire Dunphy from Modern Family (Julie Bowden)

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My favorite mom, ever. This is what I want my future (hypothetical) wife to be like. Shes funny, smart and loves to get freaky. I still get chills thinking about her getting her muff munched on in Weeds, and her in the lingerie in Happy Gilmore….UGH Julie just sitonmyface

1. Betty Draper from Mad Men (January Jones)

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Hate the show, love the women. Especially Betty. She just knows how to get me going. Its the only reason why I watch the show. If my wife ever was as pretty, sophisticated, or sexy as Betty Draper, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

(I hate girls who smoke, but hell, I’d buy 5 cartons and smoke them straight to have something in common with her.)

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