Guy in New Zealand Trying to Ban Cats


January 22, 2013 10:30 AM by Smash

New Zealand

(New Zealand is majestic as fuck. Cats don’t even deserve to live in that kind of beauty.)

Fox News – Gareth Morgan has a simple dream: a New Zealand free of pet cats that threaten native birds. But the environmental advocate has triggered a claws-out backlash with his new anti-feline campaign.

Morgan called on his countrymen Tuesday to make their current cat their last in order to save the nation’s unique bird species. He set up a website, called Cats To Go, depicting a tiny kitten with red devil’s horns. The opening line: “That little ball of fluff you own is a natural born killer.”

He doesn’t recommended people euthanize their current cats — “Not necessarily but that is an option” are the site’s exact words — but rather neuter them and not replace them when they die. Morgan, an economist and well-known businessman, also suggests people keep cats indoors and that local governments make registration mandatory.

Morgan’s campaign is not sitting well in a country that boasts one of the highest cat ownership rates in the world.

Gareth Morgan is not a national hero limited to New Zealand, but a universal hero. You may or may not know, but I fucking hate cats. Loathe them. This is the smartest campaign I’ve ever heard of. He was probably sitting in his house thinking of ways to start an anti-cat campaign without looking like cat Hitler. So what does he say? Cats are killing unique birds. Perfect! Obviously need to save those awesome birds from cats.

Gareth calling cats “natural born killers” is also the most accurate statement ever said about cats. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million more times, cats are out for us. They’ll rip your face off and wear it around the house while they piss on your dead body. Cold hard facts. I legitimately want to be Gareth Morgan’s campaign manager. Roll around New Zealand neutering the shit out of cats and checking all imports for fresh cats ready to get their mating on and stop it on the spot. Not happening on my watch!

Hey Gareth, once your campaign is successful and completed in New Zealand, head over to America and begin your work.

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