5 Year Old Suspended Over Her Bubble Blower

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January 21, 2013 9:45 AM by Smash

Bubble Gun

ABC News – A 5-year-old girl was suspended from school earlier this week after she made what the school called a “terrorist threat.”

Her weapon of choice? A small, Hello Kitty automatic bubble blower.

The kindergartner, who attends Mount Carmel Area Elementary School in Pennsylvania, caught administrators’ attention after suggesting she and a classmate should shoot each other with bubbles.

“I think people know how harmless a bubble is. It doesn’t hurt,” said Robin Ficker, an attorney for the girl’s family. According to Ficker, the girl, whose identity has not been released, didn’t even have the bubble gun toy with her at school.

The kindergartner was ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation during her 10-day suspension, which was later reduced to two days.  The evaluation deemed the girl normal and not a threat to others, Ficker said.

What. The. Fuck? There are several issues here:

1. “Terrorist threat.” Someone is clearly walking around the halls of Mount Carmel Area Elementary School like they’re the cock of the walk. Terrorist threat. I guess we have to go back to the basics of terrorists 101:



Not a terrorist:


Alright, now that we solved that confusing dilema, lets move on.

2. It was a PINK BUBBLE BLOWER. Last time I checked, I’ve never been injured by a bubble. The biggest threat is soap in the eye…

3. These two are equally baffling: “The kindergartner was ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation” and “during her 10-day suspension.'” Obviously, the same big swinging dick slaps a 10 day suspension on this girl originally and probably lost his mind when it was reduced to 2 days. 10 fucking days?! Suspension for playing with a toy.

What kind of questions do you think are asked in a psychological evaluation with a 5 year old who brought a toy to school? “Why did you do it?” Uhh cause I like to play with bubbles and toys, why the fuck didn’t I do it?

We’re all turning into a bunch of pussies. Plain and simple. Next they won’t let kids use sticks in the schoolyard as pretend weapons. Who am I kidding, I would guarantee that’s already been done. Slap the straight jackets on everyone now and throw us in padded rooms. MIght as well at this point.


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