Welp…Another Dream of Mine Crushed: David Wright is Engaged to Long Time Model Girlfriend

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January 20, 2013 1:50 PM by Billy Heywood

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David Wright just gets it. Sign the fat multi-million dollar contract, then get the girl. Its just science. His new fiance, Molly, is a certified dick ruiner, a living, breathing angel.

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Kinda sad though. I always figured that in the future we would be married, now it won’t happen. However I am relieved that I won’t be marrying a dude, so now I can focus on getting rejected from every girl I talk to. Congrats David. I know, deep down you’re happy and just knowing that makes me realize that it’s going to be alright. I’ll eventually find someone who makes me happy, just as much as you did.

Ah who am I kidding, I don’t talk to girls anyway.

Its just going to be another lonely Sunday with my gals: Wendy’s and (FiveFingered) Jill.

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