Suit & Tie: Why David Stern is a Scummer

5

January 17, 2013 1:30 PM by Wade Blogs

Dylan Thomas Drinking & Smoking

Editor’s Note: I have no clue what Dips is trying to say here and to say I don’t get his references would be an understatement. There’s a very strong chance he wrote this after Sunday Funday. It’s beyond repairable so you’re getting the unedited version. You’ve been warned.

So I listened to “Suit & Tie” by JT and love it. The guy just knows what he is doing with music and life. He was great in Trouble With the Curve and he is married to my childhood crush: Jessica Biel. I should hate the guy but have too much respect for him. It is like hating Derek Jeter or Tom Brady…some men can not do anything wrong and always live and play it the right way.

However, the one thing that really got under my skin about this song is Jay-Z. The guy is EVERYWHERE after buying less tha .01% of the Brooklyn Nets. Yes, he owns 1% of 1% of the Nets, yet is the face of the franchise. I am a big fan of his street hustle 1990’s raps (Reasonable Doubt et al). Didn’t he say he would retire after 2002-2003 after he dropped the Black Album? He must have only did it to feel like Michael Jordan, but Jordan “retired” because (this is my comedic theory) David Stern suspended him for gambling debts and betting on games he played in.

Thus why JT’s new song made me angry. I hate David Stern. (Another editor’s note…what the fuck? Talk about coming out of left field.)

Unlike the MLB, the NBA needed a star and David Stern found a way to punish the greatest of all time yet still keeping his squeaky clean image. For all you who don’t know (again this is my theory) Jordan was suspended by Stern due to his illicit gambling. So David Stern put money and prestige over ethics and doing the right thing. I mean I could give deuce shits about it and still respect MJ. The only good thing David Stern did was make the jabronis pick up their bagging shorts off their lower ass. He has Europe-fied this game and babes the superstars. NBA sucks watch NCAA games.

I hate David Stern and thats the only thing that came to my mind while listening to Suit & Tie.

How did I get to this hatred of David Stern from a JT song? Easy:

JT to Jay-Z to retiring early to MJ retiring early to my theory on Jordan retiring early to discipling Jordan to David Stern lying to me hating David Stern. (Final editor’s note: WHAT. THE. FUCK?! Serious, if someone can decipher this, please do so in the comments.)

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5 thoughts on “Suit & Tie: Why David Stern is a Scummer

  1. Smash says:

    Mr. Dips, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent blog were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Jesus Christ, Dips, you’ve got me more confused than Te’o does. Blog like you had a fake girlfriend die today.

  3. @andrew34 says:

    This made perfect sense, David Stern is a miser

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