Must See Movies of 2013

1

January 9, 2013 9:15 AM by Billy Heywood

Movie Theater Chairs

Now, before “Historical Joe” gets a boner for my work and tries to rip this post apart, let me just say I don’t think that any of these movies will win any Academy Awards. “Hah you had The Lorax and Lincoln in the same list? Uh this has to be a parody..ahahrhahar.”

Bitch The Lorax was fucking ill, and those were my top ten you cocksucker, when you write a blog you can have your top ten. So suck brick guy, and we all know you’re probably sitting at home reading this while NCIS is playing in the background, while you eat cat food from a can.

Some of these sequels will actually be kick ass because you have Hunger Games: Catching Fire coming as well as Marvel’s “Phase 2” process of its Avenger’s Universe with Iron Man 3 and Thor 2.

However, other sequels coming out in 2013 are coming out for no fucking reason and most likely will not live up to it’s original act, like Anchorman and Anchorman 2. Don’t get me wrong, I loooooooove the ladies Anchorman, but it does not warrant a sequel…It’s Anchor- MAN! not ANCHOR-MAN2!…Louuuuuuuuuud nooooooooooises!!!!!

10. Thor: The Dark World

Thor 2

Sequel to 2011’s Hit THOR, takes place following the events in The Avengers.

9. This is the End

This is the end

An apocalypse movie about the real life actors playing themselves, the trailer made me wet myself.

8. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

THE-HUNGER-GAMES-CATCHING-FIRE

Sequel to The Hunger Games…Katnis gets me all hot and bothered with her archery, makes my arrow quiver…hiyo!

7. Zero Dark Thirty

1134604 - Zero Dark Thirty

Looks phenominal…America!

6. Elysium

Matt-Damon-in-Elysium

Sequel to District 9, apparently better than it, can’t wait.

5. Pain and Gain

pain_and_gain

Mark Wahlberg and the Rock…enough said.

4. Gangster Squad

Layout 1

This flick takes place in 1950’s LA. Brolin, Nolte, Gosling, Stone, and Penn make a better front 5 than the Lakers today.

3. Man Of Steel

Man of Steel
Reboot of Superman. Chris Nolan played a huge part in producing this. Might be better than the original Superman.

2. Anchorman: The Legend Continues

Anchorman 2

Burgandy did it…HIYO. Lets hope it tops the original.

1. Iron Man 3

Iron Man

Don’t like the gold suit, but hell, RDJ nailed it in IM1 and IM2. Kicks off Marvel’s Phase 2 process.

Honorable Mentions
Monsters U, The Great Gatsby, The Wolverine, World War Z, Despicable Me 2, Oz: The Great and Powerful, A Good Day To Die Hard, Kick-Ass 2, Oblivion, The Lone Ranger, The Hangover III

The Jets and Mets sucked in 2012, my office sucked in 2012 everything sucked in 2012, so it can’t get THAT much worse…can it? 2013 is looking up!

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One thought on “Must See Movies of 2013

  1. Historical joe says:

    Thanks for the shout out gentlemen! This list is good not great.

    You forgot the newest installment of GI Joe: retaliation. How about “Last Stand”

    Both are quality films featuring my friend Dwanye!

    Did you rate the movies on “Hand jimmer” potential?

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