Introducing the Twitter Butler

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January 9, 2013 3:00 PM by Wade Blogs


Business Insider – If you’re heading to D.C. for the presidential inauguration, make sure to bring your Social Media Butler.

The cost: $47,000. (And you’d still need a ticket to the inauguration or any of the swanky inaugural balls.)
That buys:
    •    A 4-night stay for two in one of the Madison’s Presidential Suites
    •    A private Lincoln Town Car and driver
    •    A private tour of D.C. with 22 of your closest friends
    •    A $5,000 shopping “experience” at Brooks Brothers
    •    A night at the Landsdowne Resort with a couple’s massage

This just sums up Washington, D.C. alright.  I am not trying to get all political or any of that shit but come on.  $47,000 for all this bullshit? You are literally spending more on a single weekend than millions of families make in a YEAR. Yes, I understand you make money in America to spend it however you want. Sure you stay at luxurious hotels and service and couple rub downs (is it still a happy ending if you get it from your wife?) but a TWITTER BUTLER?

How much more bougie/douche/betchy/stuck up/smug/ asshole can you get? What are the qualifications for a Twitter butler? I mean any 17 year old girl is a pro in this in comparison to someone of age #SocialMedia revolution.

Alright, who am I kidding? I don’t want a Twitter butler, I NEED a Twitter butler. Shit, this is like going back to the Renaissance or something. Just dictating your every thought and having your bitch scribe take it all down. This is straight out of Amadeus: sitting in bed (alright, he’s in his death bed but that’s beside the point) and you’ve got your boy taking notes. Now that really is luxury.

However, I would like to meet the person that gets this service, honestly. If he isn’t lighting cubans with Franklins then I will be so disappointed. Kinda hope he rocks white linen pants with a button down shirt with a bunch of chest hair out and gold chains. The only way you can pull off such a power move.


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