Tim Tebow’s (and Jesus’) Year in Review

Leave a comment

December 20, 2012 11:59 AM by Billy Heywood


Now I’m a Catholic but not some extremist by the book one. I go to church once a week, don’t follow the order of the mass, can’t memorize the prayers, get the crunchy thing, then leave after it to catch the 1pm games. But what caught my eye was how similar Jesus Christ and Tim Tebow’s year actually were.

Before Jesus was born, many prophecies (Heisman Trophies, SEC records, 2 national championships to say the least) proclaimed a boy born in a manger (low draft spot) to someday become the Son of God (starting QB), and he had infinite potential. But no one truly believed in him (everyone thought he wouldn’t be a NFL QB, he lost his draft prestige, got bumped to a low first round pick and was thought to be a backup his whole career). Tebow arrived into this world, in a manger (NFL Draft) and 3 wise men (John Elway, Josh McDaniels, and Joe Ellis) brought him gifts of Frankesense, Gold and Murr (opportunities, money, and a roster spot).

As he grew up (training camp) progressed within the community, many heretics (critics and scouts) said that he was too young and didn’t have enough experience to be a rabbi (starting QB). He earned their trust through his teachings and actions (practices, work  ethic, and determination) to become a rabbi (starting QB) and eventually gains enough of a following (Tebow time) through his experiences (7-3 as a starting QB/ Playoff berth/Playoff win).

He was praised in Nazareth (Denver) and greeted with open arms in the land of Jerusalem (New York), rode in on a donkey (Woody Johnson/Mike Tannebaum, whoever you prefer), and the crowds were immensely awaiting his arrival, whenever that would be (in wildcat, on punts and maybe behind center for goal line plays).Yet however, he had a false follower who betrayed him, Judas (Tony Sparano). Judas wasn’t too keen on Jesus (Tebow) as the Son of Man (starting QB). He sold Jesus over for 14 silver shillings (put him at 2nd string QB) as well as put his faith into that fact that Jesus would make a mockery in front of the Pharisees (the fans).

So what happened? Pontius Pilot (Rex Ryan) was given an option, since he was the leader at the time, ultimately decided that the congregation (the team) was better off with Barabas, who was a thief and a rapist, (Sanchez) than to have Jesus (Tebow) in society.

They stripped (put in McElroy instead of Tebow against the Cardinals) Jesus (Tebow) of his cloak (uniform, second string spot) and beat him (didn’t let him play at all) and gave him a crown of thorns (finally take out Sanchez, and put in McElroy instead) and crucified him as his people wept in utter agony and embarrassment.  But through all this, Jesus (Tebow) never said a bad word about any of his tormentors, nor the people who put him through this (unnamed sources saying “Tebow is terrible”). They break his ribs (uh…ribs anyone?! Happened in real life…) in the beatings ( week 1 through 15).

As he lays up there nailed to the cross (not named starter after the awful loss in Tennessee) he tells his father (Twitter) to forgive them (Jets organization) for they have not known what they have done (by not giving him a shot). He looks up and says  ”It is finished” (demands to be released or traded at the end of the year…to finish his season with the Jets) and then he dies (leaves the League, maybe retires if they don’t dump him, probably not) and then 3 days (maybe literally 3 days, maybe weeks, months, seasons) he returns, raises from the dead (becomes a starting QB somewhere, maybe Jacksonville) and ascends into Heaven (Superbowl MVP? Maybe Hall of Fame?).

I don’t know, that’s just me. Probably total horseshit but whatever…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow us and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Older Posts

%d bloggers like this: