If I Ever Become a Multimillion Dolla Blogga…Chipotle Will Be the Kitchen in My Mansion

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December 14, 2012 1:00 PM by Billy Heywood


Went to Chipotle for lunch today, and oh my GOD was it a great decision. Chipotle is the only resturant, fast food chain, or food joint I have ever been to that has NEVER given me grief, or got my order wrong. It is infallible in my eyes. The only “Jesus” I believe in, is Jesús who scoops my steak into my fat burrito. Now, to any other schlub he’d give them a half, maybe a full scoop of their choice of meat. But Jesús has my back and gives me 2 full scoops. Suck on that internet…maybe he gives it to me because he has a thing for porky men, or that he hates his job so much he figures he’ll just give more meat to his customers so expenses go up for the franchise. I don’t honestly know. But I like to think there’s a sweet Mexican man thinking about me everyday out there…

So I get my steak burrito, with ALL the fixins’. White rice, peppers & onions, blackbeans (not too much, I’m not trying to hot box the office with my farts) sour cream, shredded lettuce, ch-ch-ch-cheeeese and a shit ton of GUAC. Throw in a bag of chips and I’m like R.Kelly’s sheets…golden…

I go to pay, and heres a little tip for you all out there. Don’t waste money on the soda. Nuh Uh. Ask them for a water cup, it’s free. Then fill that up with soda you bimbo! Grab a seat and dive in. Don’t worry if the burrito breaks on you…That’s what the chips are for! Make a little dip for it and scoop some up.Fuck…I’m hungry again…I guess I know where I’m going for dinner…alone…like every night.


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