TBOX Looked Like Friday the 13th…Sounds Like A Good Time

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December 10, 2012 9:00 AM by Smash


DNAInfo – The victim of a beer bottle stabbing during a Wrigleyville holiday bar crawl was bleeding so much he looked “like Friday the 13th,” said a bar security manager, referring to the slasher films.

The gruesome scene unfolded after midnight during Saturday’s Twelve Bars of Christmas, or TBOX, pub crawl. A man allegedly jumped out of a bathroom stall at sports bar Red Ivy, 3525 N. Clark St., and stabbed another man in the neck with a broken beer bottle, police said. Bars open at 8 a.m. for TBOX, and attendees, dressed in holiday garb, often continue partying late into the night.

If you don’t know what TBOX is, it’s a bar crawl where everyone dresses up like assholes in Christmas sweaters, garland, lights, etc (you get the idea). It starts at 8am and ends at 9pm. You pay $40 for it, get one of those string bags, and there are $3 Miller Lites at each bar.

I wasn’t going to write anything about it but after seeing that story, I’m basically obligated. I’m pretty sure I’m in the minority here but I don’t get the appeal of TBOX. You pay money to stand in long lines, crowded bars, then wait in line again for $3 Miller Lites? Where’s the appeal? Pretty sure you can do that at any bar, any day of the week.

So on top of long lines, large crowds, and shitty beer, you have guys popping out of bathroom stalls and stabbing people in the neck with a beer bottle. No biggie. Guy was probably trying to pinch off a quick loaf and next thing you know, Red Ivy looks like the scene straight out of The Addams Family.

Call me what you will, but I have yet to hear someone be able to sell TBOX to me. Con list is  overflowing like a woman’s muffin top at Wal Mart. If anyone can hit me with some positives to balance out this list, I’m all ears.


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