If You’re a “Put in Tebow” Guy, I Wish You A Life of Misery

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November 23, 2012 11:38 AM by Billy Heywood

I have zero clue how to approach this post.  Zero.  I don’t know where to begin.  Offense sucked, defense sucked, special teams played like Terry Schiavo out there.  Just flat out brain dead.

Sanchez threw another red-zone pick, got sacked by Brandon Moore’s butt-cheeks (which apparently are so hard that you fumble the football from getting bumped into them) McKnight, Chaz Schillens (Who the fuck would ever want to be called “Chaz”) can’t hold the ball, and neither can Shonn Greene.  The ball looked like a greased pig out there, every-time a Jet touched it, it was an automatic fumble.  It’s hard to play a game competitively when your offense turns the ball over 5 times!

Sanchez went 26/36 301 yards with a TD and INT.  Guys, that’s the best Sanchez has played all season…take away the Greene, McKnugget, and Schillens fumbles, and the Jets were still in that game.  Fuck the Tebow chants man, the Patriots would have DEVOURED him.  Straight up cock gobbled Tim.  Tebow would look down field and see his 3 D-II wideouts covered by the Pats secondary, not because they are good (because they’re not), but because the Jets receivers can’t get open.  Tebow would then try to run it, Wilfork would eat him from his asshole up, and boom.  We are back to square-1.

The Jets need a sense of urgency, they need to shake it up a bit.  Bilal Powell reminded me of Leon Washington out there, rocking the #29, and running with a fire under his ass.  We know both quarterbacks suck, but why not switch up the running game.  2 running backs, Powell and Greene.  Washington does it, Houston does it, San Francisco does it, and New England does it.  Oh gee, guess who the fuck has the top 4 rushing offenses?  Come on Sparono get your shit straight.

Defense on 3rd down killed the Jets.  The Pats went 11/15 on third down…11 for fucking 15.  Just awful.  0 sacks, none.  “Oh but they got a safety bro, that was good.”  Not at all, they should have gotten that Sharz Schillens TD but whatever.  475 total yards given up…woof.

Thank God the Jets play their next 5 games against teams with a combined 17-33 record.  If GangGreen can somehow pull off a playoff birth, I’ll name my first kid FuckFace…Fuckface Chaz Heywood.

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