Billy Heywood Responds to Dips’ Starbucks Red Cups Post

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November 9, 2012 1:37 PM by Billy Heywood

Dear Dips,

Woah woah woah, easy “cowboy.”  First of all, have you ever seen a Vermont night?  Because I’m pretty sure it’s not black, it’s full of stars and celestial bodies…so I guess you like your coffee black, with sparkles in it…such a prissy move.  You most definitely have that lotion with the diamonds in it so you can “show your sparkle.”

I do agree with you though – Starbucks is fucking terrible, and it’s one of the reasons why America is slowly losing it’s toughness, especially since we’re using pussy European style measuring systems.   Venti, grande, fagala no matter how you slice it, it’s still fucking COFFEE.  Plain and simple.
Me, I’m a DD guy, large hot with a little bit of skim.  My lady says I should shed a couple lbs, so I like my coffee between a Michelle Obama black and Lacey Duvalle mocha.  Mom and Pop shops are the backbone of this economy, there’s no doubt about that.  But hate all you want, Christmas is the real next major holiday.  Thanksgiving is like baby Christmas, and honestly it’s just any other Sunday, times 5 with food, and with 13 less football games.  Lets be real, no one gives a shit about pilgrims and Indians and giving thanks, it’s all about turkeys, Lions, Cowboys, and falling asleep at 7pm.  It’s practically a pep rally for me to celebrate JC’s 2013th bday!
Who cares if they’re bringing out the red cups, Christmas to me starts the minute November begins.  All my shopping is done already, I got Sinatra, Groban, and the chipmunks going HAM on my iPod on my commutes.  So Dips, shut your bitchass up about when “the Christmas season” begins, because technically, the world should act the way they do from Thanksgiving to Christmas all year round…which is Spend money, hangout with family, and bringing that mother fucking peace to strangers.
Side note – Starbuck’s hot chocolate is…what I think what Tyra Banks taste like…AMAZING!
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