Rats Considered Hurricane Sandy A Workout

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November 1, 2012 1:54 PM by Smash

Businessweek – Unprecedented flooding throughout low-lying portions of New York City over the past two days undoubtedly left hundreds—if not thousands—of rats scrambling for their dear lives. According to experts, most of them likely survived. “They’re a jack of all trades when it comes to locomotion,” says Rick Ostfeld of the Cary Institute of Ecosystem Studies in Millbrook, N.Y. “They can’t sprint, but they run well; they’re not Michael Phelps, but they’re strong swimmers; and even though they don’t have prehensile tails, they climb well. They do it all.”

Ostfeld notes that rats can easily swim a couple hundred yards. In fact, he says, “one of the ways that rats have dispersed around the world is by jumping off of ships and swimming to shore—the proverbial ‘rats leaving a sinking ship’ is actually based on reality.”

No one knows exactly how many rats live in New York City, but Ostfeld suspects that there are at least as many rats as humans. The city’s population is dominated by the Norway rat (Rattus norvegicus), an invader from Europe, and the Black rat (Rattus rattus), which originated in Asia. These highly resilient rats can be found throughout New York City, but they usually don’t travel far within those limits.

On Monday, I tweeted wondering how what kind of rat genocide was going on in Manhattan while Hurricane Sandy was being a bitch and flooding the city.  Welp, my question has been answered: none.  These sons of bitches outlasted Sandy.

This Rick Ostfeld clown is saying they can swim hundreds of yards?  I can’t even swim as far as these fucks.  He’s also saying there are about 1.6 MILLION rats in Manhattan alone?  If I didn’t know any better, rats are about to take us hostage.  Pretty sure Planet of the Apes should have been written for rats, not apes.  There aren’t many things that can legit terrify me, but snakes, opossums, and rats are hands down 1-3. I don’t care what any of you say, they’re all TERRIFYING.

What’s the move here?  They can out-swim us, live just about anywhere, and spread diseases faster than the Black Plague.  100% sure this is the zombie apocalypse everyone’s been talking about and the military has been preparing for.  Nice knowin’ ya.

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