The Obsessive Yelp Reviewer

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September 25, 2012 3:58 AM by Smash

I’m sure anyone who is reading this, has at one point or another, looked at/used Yelp before.  Whether it was to find a certain type of business or see how something is before you go, you’ve used the site.  Now, before I get going here, I’ll say it now – Yelp can be helpful.  Sometimes it may be lower or higher than your personal experience, but that’s not why we’re here right now.

People who review any and EVERYTHING they possibly do are some of the worst people in the world.

These are the types of people that businesses can’t stand.  They complain about every little thing.  Someone didn’t take their order 3 seconds after arriving -1 star.  The fork was placed on the wrong side of the table -1 star.  They didn’t offer to wipe their ass in the bathroom -2 stars.  The review will then usually go something like this:

“After being seated by the young hostess in the front, no one even ACKNOWLEDGED US for 1 whole minute!  One minute!  Can you believe that?!  Then, after that ridiculous wait, our server FINALLY came over and gave us an unkind look.  When the food came out, it was slightly overcooked but very delicious (although very overrated after all the “great” things we heard about this place).  We got our bill and we were SHOCKED!  They charged us $8 for a 16oz New York strip!  Who do they think they are charging that?!  Outrageous.  2/5 stars and we will NOT be back!”

They’re unbelievable.  The type that would probably buy Hydrox Cookies instead of Oreos (which is a Goddamn crime).  Just terrible, terrible people.

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