Keep the White Pants At Home Gents

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July 27, 2012 4:22 AM by Wade Blogs

Summer is in full swing across the country. The country is in the worst drought since Eisenhower, the economy is in disparate need of the next Reagan, and more importantly the USofA is about to do their Gold Medal thing across the pond in the Olympics.

With summer comes warm temperatures, skInterns, and of course summer fashion.

I would like to just come out in front and tell you all this: I have a fashion sense of a middle aged man who is the father of 5 children under the age of 13 on vacation at Disney world.

White jeans/pants are the greatest gift men have received from the God’s above since NFL Sunday Ticket.  They make each and every woman’s rump look delicious, firm, and desirable.  However I have a severe problem when men wear them because there are certain things you just don’t wear as a man (thongs, capri pants, and more than a dime size of product in your hair).

I work in NYC and have the severe misfortune of witnessing this first hand multiple times a day. It sickens me greatly.  And the biggest culprit of this crime are Europeans.

I’m sorry but my grandfathers and their countrymen did not fight two world wars defending (as well as defeating) Europeans so they can lessen the value of their manhood!

American’s have held steady and have not fallen victim.  I hope I never see that day because I will for sure create a ruckus.

Again I would like to reiterate that I have one fashion sense: I’m white and (as well as I don’t have a legion of hits of being a badass: Johnny Cash) I will not wear black.  I am too much of a dork to “rock” something.

Keep it basic with the dress…if your mom wears it, you shouldn’t!

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